Aug 16, 2010

A Better Me

Why is it so hard to do what is right?
To hold myself in, instead of ignite?
God wants His kids to say "No!" to what's bad,
To be in conrol instead of get mad.

Dear Father above, please help me to be,
The sweet little girl You so want to see-
A girl full of goodness, loving and true,
Who's wanting to grow to be more like You.

Yes. This is from a children's book. As I sat on this couch (heavenly right?)
and read this book to the babies the other night,
I started to think: The lessons we learn as little girls really are the same, simple lessons we carry with us. I know it is a simple prayer from a simple little book, but it really touched my heart. I don't know why, but I have been in a funk recently. Nothing exactly particular that is bothering me, just overwhelming feelings of not being the girl that God wants me to be, and the girl that I want to be. I got into a huge fight with my sister last week over something silly, and ended up really upsetting her. My sisters are the MOST important things to me, and I love them more than anything. My baby girls (19 and 23! ha) look up to me, and I have a responsibility as a big sister to be a positive influence, and lead them by example.

Sometimes I forget just how important this is. Yes my sissies are my friends, but they are also younger than me, and they look up to what I am doing. I have struggled with that recently. I so want to be the big sissy to them that I know I am, I just had a moment of weakness and treated them as equals-as my peers, when I need to remember that there is a time and place for that, but my most important role, is to be their big sister, and their role model. I pray that God will continue to guide me, and help me to be the wonderful girl that I know I am, a better Christian, a better big sister, a better friend, a better daughter, a better everything.


Laura said...

I love this post... and feel the same way too sometimes.. (esp. w/ two younger sisters too!).. It's hard to be the perfect role model for them all the time- but at the same time, we're all human and make mistakes.. which is something they also need to see. :) I know you're a great big sis, friend, and person.. xoxo

Molly said...

I ALWAYS struggle with this no matter what, obsessing over every little "wrong." I think us girls put so much pressure on ourselves and sometimes need to be reminded how great friends/family/sisters really think we are - so just so you know - I love you just the way you are! :)

Molly said...

But do admire you for always striving to be better!

littledaisymay said...

What a wonderful post :)

Meredith said...

Wow, this hits home and is so true. I've been struggling with a breakup since 7/4 and this brings tears to my eyes. I know I did wrong, but pray that God and him as well with both forgive me and that God will save our 4 year relationship, with the man that I had talked the "M" word with. I'm so hurting and this is so true.

Jennie said...

Wow - what a great post. And that little rhyme is precious.

Sophie P said...

Awww. I LOVE my little sister too- she's 18 and just a dolly. I miss her so much, living in Australia can be very difficult at times as I want to be there for her, for everything she's going through. It actually makes me so emotional thinking about her. Thanks for such a lovely post xx

Ari- Audrey Onassis said...

You are so right about the simple lessons we learn as little girls. They're just as important when we're women.

Kerr said...

I hope you are feeling better today and you worked everything out with your sister. If it makes you feel any better my brother and I don't see each other very much, mostly holidays at home with the family, and it usally only takes a half day before we are at each others throats!

Design Apprentice said...

I've never heard of this book or that prayer before, but I'm so glad you shared it because I love it!

I hear you, I've been feeling that same overwhelming feeling about being the gal I want to be and insuring it's the same girl He wants me to be.


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