Jun 18, 2010

If it walks like a duck...

And it talks like a duck...

Ladies. Guess what... It's a mother effing duck.

I chuckled a little as I said this out loud to my friend on the phone last night. But the more I began to talk to her, and to think about it, the more I began to realize how obvious some answers are, that are right in front of our faces. Why as girls do we try to qualify things? "oh, he is just busy..." or maybe “oh, he is going through a hard time right now..." not ever do we just accept the obvious. He is playing you.

The first thought of mine here was, He's Just Not That Into You. Remember those brilliant lines from Sex & The City? Those few words helped change my college dating life.

But this story is not about that. It is not a He's Just not That Into You story. It is not about a silly girl, who just doesn't understand that a guy is not into her. It is about a girl, who has a guarded heart, and somehow, {gosh darn it}, somehow, lets herself get tricked by a smooth talking Cowboy Casanova.

For all intents and purposes, I’m not telling you who this story is about. But I will tell you she let herself get fooled by a very clever boy. She ignored his date invites for over two months. He is 'the beautiful bad boy', not they guy you ever really considering dating. Never in a million years did she think she would be going on a date with him. Let's face it, the image she had of him is that he is this serial dater that dates multiple girls at one time. And that is ok-sometimes we all just need a hot bad boy to satisfy our "I'm a single gal", "I need to feel wanted" needs. Sew those wild oats, you know what I am saying? She never entertained the idea that he would be anything more than a good time. And she most certainly didn't let her guard down until...

Until the smooth talking began. He begins to tell her all of those things that boys think girls want to hear “he wants to get to know HER... he doesn't agree with dating more than one person at once... he just wants to make sure that she is in to him as much as he is in to her... he finds her beautiful and irresistible..." We have all heard "don't judge a book by it's cover ". She began to think to herself, “am I doing this? Am I prejudging him unfairly?...Maybe I had him wrong? Maybe there was something there besides his gorgeous looks and bad boy charm. Maybe he really is into me, and he had just never dated a smart, good, ‘going somewhere with her life’ girl. Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt?"

Wrong.

oh how she was wrong.

As it turns out, he is exactly who she thought he was. She recently found out about some drama with another girl, and decided she just didn’t want to be a part of that. Luckily, she is strong enough, and honestly not far enough into their dating relationship to let it affect her. I feel sorry for the other girl, who has no clue about girl #2, who is just another girl fooled by a good time Cowboy Casanova.

So ladies, in discussing this story with my girlfriend, together we came to a conclusion: TRUST your instincts. Your gut feeling is there for a reason. Remember when you were 15 and you took a multiple choice test in high school, your teacher always said "go with your first instinct, your gut feeling". That would be my advice to you now. If he walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, just be careful, and protect yourself. Because he very well just might be, a duck.
{addition} if you think you might have a player on your hands, here is a fantastic article that just popped up on yahoo. Perfect timing or what?

12 comments:

leigh ashley said...

great post allison! i'm sorry for your friend though... it's not her fault. sometimes you have to give things a try to know if it's not good for you! :)

Meghan said...

That definitely does stink. But you always crack me up when reading your posts. You are just too funny!

Carolyn @ life, love and puppy prints said...

This is SO true!! If only your friend hadn't had to deal with this! :(

E. Lacy said...

Play on, playa. ; )

Ms. Emily Ann said...

Completely agree - it's easier said than done, and I have given bad boy guys too much of my time in the past, despite my better instincts. But, now, dating a great guy, it makes everything clear, and easy. If he loves you, you will know, all the time, forever...and it will fully feel right from the beginning. There are good guys out there, just a bit harder to find.

Brown Girl said...

Preach on sister..those mother fucking, tricky ass ducks. Happens to the best of us.

Kristin said...

you are too cute! i'm a new follower...love your blog! :o)

Erin @ Sassin' Southern Style said...

Amen, sister!

Paige said...

I t-totally agree! Those "ducks" can sure try to play some tricks on you. It truly happens to the best of us, there is NO doubt about that! You are so stinking adorable by the way.

Laura said...

been there, done that. ughhh Hope your lovely friend picks up her chin and moves on with a smile. no need to let that asshole get her down.

Leslie @ A Blonde Ambition said...

Ok, for starters, your blog is too cute for words! LOVE it.

Secondly, AMEN for writing this post. I totally agree that going with your first instinct is always the smartest thing for us single gals to do!

Whitney said...

Great post.

I always agree with listening to our first instincts, but it seems that we never do. It seemed to happen to me all the time, up until the day, I got with the boyfriend I have now. It puts things in perspective, and makes you glad that you got where you are. If you had to date a bunch of Mr. Wrongs to get a Mr. Right than I think it is worth it in the end.

 

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